Tuesday, 11 October 2016

Final Decision


Life is becoming hell; I feel my husband is not mine. He is a son of his mother but not my husband. I think this is the time for separation. Yes, I want "Divorce." And this is my final decision

That's it? I mean the all the things for that she fought with her family to marry this guy, she was the happiest girl for the starting months of her marriage. She never tired to post her happiness on social media sites. She was the lucky one who got a handsome, loving, caring man. Yes, these were her words that she told me once. And today, is this the same girl? She was talking for Divorce. Seriously, that's it?

Coffee mug was on my hand, every single voice in Starbucks converted into a dark silence. I was listening every single word of her; she continued with her complaints against her husband, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, father-in-law, etc. It was so surprising to me because I knew her since my school time. She chose her life partner after knowing him for good four years. It was purely Love. But, today in her voice I was not able to find that love. After four years of Loveship & six years of marriage, she is saying her husband is a big mistake of her life. She is even not thinking of her adorable two-year-old daughter. How easily she stated that she is going for Divorce. The more shocking for me was the "REASON.". Reasons behind this decision were so annoying for me.
  • It's one year, and we did not go for any holidays.
  • See my FB posts; I am all alone. He never clicked a single selfie with me. 
  • He comes home late and doesn't give me a single call from the office.
  • His mother spends many days at our home; we don't get privacy. 
  • Now I need to take care of his father because he is ill and he needs us. 
  • He never gives me enough money for my shopping. Always says we should start savings. 
Blah Blah Blah.... Not a single reason I find for separation.
Nowadays I saw many articles on women. Mostly all talk about women sacrifice, freedom, empowerment, etc. We women ever think on the other side of problems. A man who starts a new life with his wife. Yeah, it is true that his priority is his wife but a woman should also understand that he has some other responsibilities too. My question from her is What is her husband's mistake?
  • He is with you in every situation. He is trying hard for giving you a safe future with making it financially secure, is this his mistake?
  • He may don't like selfies or may don't like to do public his personal life, is this his mistake?
  • Her mother wants to spend some time with his son's family, is this his mistake?
  • Taking care of his father in his illness, who is now your father too, is this his mistake?
Let's assume differently; I want to ask her that -
  • If your mother wants to spend time with you then it's fine. It's your mom, right.
  • If your father is ill and you are taking care then, it's your responsibility and in case if your in-laws don't allow it or like it then you talk about equality. 
  • If you are earning and not gives a single penny to your husband, then it's your choice. 
  • If anyone stops you from doing something that you desperately want to do, then you talk about women empowerment.
I have some questions from my very dear friend who took this big decision for silliest reasons I ever heard.

Have you ever think about your husband's dreams? He is too busy in fulfilling family needs. In this fancy world where every single happiness comes with an enormous amount of money, he is busy in earning that happiness for his family, for you. I am sure; you remember that -
  • He never stops you to follow your dreams; it's your choice.
  • He never stops you for not to do your daughter's responsibilities. 
  • He was with you and his in-laws whenever they need you. 
  • He was the one who paid huge hospital bills when your mother was met an accident & admitted in the hospital. 
  • He was the one who helped in every possible way in your younger sister's marriage. 
  • He was the one who cried when you were in labour pain.
I am no one to tell you that change your decision. I only want from you that rethink about the reasons.